Beginning is not everything my love (fortunately)

The beginning of everything: February 2015.

In a toilet of Rome airport. It seems shabby.

Instead it was private, happy, intense. There, far away from everything and everyone, with my test in hand, I already knew what I found. Perhaps I looked for remoteness from the world, that inability to communicate immediately with people I know. The airplane was leaving soon and I am entry decided in pharmacy without anyone he accompanied me.

“A Pregnancy Test Please”

It was the first time I made this question without embarrassment, without blushing and without feeling guilty or wrong. The signs were clear and I was looking for confirmation to my suspicions; confirmations, however, were for others. I didn’t need. The head was turned and i had the sweating, anxiety of second name, as always. Psss… A few minutes and the response arrived. Scream of joy. Then scream again and again and again. Hide the test, also if everybody will think for a mad. I want nobody knows, even those unknown that scan me with cloudy look . And it does not matter, because my smile is so wide and proud that nobody can take it away.

beginning of my baby

Boarding Done

I’m going toward the great plane that will take me to home and I think about how to announce to my partner who we expect a child. Then the panic. I can fly? I will do evil to her/him? Better if I take the train? I can eat this bar? It was not unexpected so soon practically said-fact, Michele how he will say? I can fly? I slow down. I’m frantic searching answer on internet but do not understand anything, not even who I am. I give up and call a friend. Now you are no longer mine alone.

Here, so we know my love, our beginning was in a public bath.

You have a story to tell…

My history instead has a different beginning.

I have met my mother in a phone booth of Paris; I do not know in which, but there my mother received the news that certainly would have changed his life. At the age of 19. From a phone booth she called dad and him, ready, has read the verdict. Because at time test on time did not exist: it was going to do the analysis of blood and expected responses. Who knows that entanglement of guts she had to hear. A lump in one’s throat.

Each has its beginning and probably we are not exactly brilliant at this stage.

But also I have a story to tell.

A day thou shalt, I hope, a new beginning and your children will have in turn their story to tell. But the start is not all my love, it is only the beginning of a long story. And even if it is not exactly as you imagined, only you will write the pages of that wonderful story . You and no other.

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