The beginning of everything: February 2015.
In a toilet of Rome airport. It seems shabby.
Instead it was private, happy, intense. There, far away from everything and everyone, with my test in hand, I already knew what I found. Perhaps I looked for remoteness from the world, that inability to communicate immediately with people I know. The airplane was leaving soon and I am entry decided in pharmacy without anyone he accompanied me.
“A Pregnancy Test Please”
It was the first time I made this question without embarrassment, without blushing and without feeling guilty or wrong. The signs were clear and I was looking for confirmation to my suspicions; confirmations, however, were for others. I didn’t need. The head was turned and i had the sweating, anxiety of second name, as always. Psss… A few minutes and the response arrived. Scream of joy. Then scream again and again and again. Hide the test, also if everybody will think for a mad. I want nobody knows, even those unknown that scan me with cloudy look . And it does not matter, because my smile is so wide and proud that nobody can take it away.
I’m going toward the great plane that will take me to home and I think about how to announce to my partner who we expect a child. Then the panic. I can fly? I will do evil to her/him? Better if I take the train? I can eat this bar? It was not unexpected so soon practically said-fact, Michele how he will say? I can fly? I slow down. I’m frantic searching answer on internet but do not understand anything, not even who I am. I give up and call a friend. Now you are no longer mine alone.
Here, so we know my love, our beginning was in a public bath.